It's funny how one tiny pink line, no bigger than a quarter of an inch, can bring news that can change your life. I had forgotten how that line, that little, tiny line, could mean so much. I've seen it twice before. The first time I was startled, in awe. The second, relieved and terrified all at once. This third time, well, I guess it was a little bit of awe and terror all together. It wasn't a surprise and yet, isn't it always? It can really happen...we can make a baby.
That baby is now only the size of a blueberry. I had forgotten, though, how that blueberry can take all of the energy you ever had. How there is no amount of sleep that will ever be able to satisfy your tiredness. How your super power sense of smell can sniff out every unclean scent in the entire world. How some things taste entirely wrong and others taste better than anything has ever tasted.
The thing about this third little pink line is this: people look at me with trepidation. I have experienced difficult pregnancies. For me, that isn't where my mind goes immediately. My mind goes to the joy of the baby who comes. Others worry. I can't bear to hear the hitch in their voice. I can't bear to see the worry in their eyes. I remind them: there's nothing to worry about right now. We all need to focus on being filled with joy, excited about this little life that's growing in here.
So, that's what I'm doing. I'm focusing on the joy. I can't wait to meet this little blueberry, sometime this Spring, and make her or him a part of our family. And you can be sure I'll be sharing it all here, with you.