Just Me and My Shadow...

Which happens to be a giant jug of urine.  Yup.  If I were a really good blogger, I'd fill this spot with a montage of me and my jug of urine doing fun things together...swinging around in one another's arms, walking on the beach, etc.  Unfortunately, I'm only a mediocre blogger at best, so you'll just have to imagine these aspects of our relationship.

I don't know if they do it to all pregnant women or just those of us who have issues during pregnancy, but one of the the things I have come to specialize in over the past several years is the 24 hour urine collection.  If you've never done one of these things, I recommend giving your doctor a call and asking if you can just go ahead and do one for fun.  I'm sure they can even be fun for men, too!  Basically, in my case, you take a pregnant lady who has to pee all of the time and then make her pee in only one place and dump it into this big orange container for a 24 hour period.  Oh, and it has to be kept cold, so if you don't have the ability to keep it on ice or something you can overjoy the family by storing it in family fridge.

For me, whenever I'm doing one of these tests I live in constant fear that I will either forget about the test and then accidentally pee somewhere other than in my collection hat, thereby ruining any of the results I have already completed, or that I will spill the urine I have collected (most likely due to pouring it into the big orange container while still mostly asleep).

I recently completed my first 24 hour urine for this pregnancy.  Because the lab I have to take the results to is about 30 minutes away from home, The Mister and I packed our friend Old Orange up in the car with us and decided to drop it off at the lab while we were out on a date.  Yes, this should tell you everything you need to know about the level of romance you can expect while pregnant and in an 11 year marriage.

With Old Orange in tow, we headed out to see a morning movie.  Before lunch, we drove the 30 minutes over to the lab.  The Mister dropped me off at the curb and I grabbed my little friend and headed in to drop it off.  Only to find that the lab was closed.  Hmmm...this seems like information someone might have given me when they told me I could complete this test and drop it off ANY TIME I WANTED.

Carrying Old Orange back to the car, I placed her lovingly in the back seat and directed The Mister that we should head for lunch.  Because who doesn't carry a giant jug of their own urine with them everywhere they go?  You know, just in case.  After our date, I put my friend in the fridge and then took my friend to work with me the next day and then drove Old Orange one final time back to the lab where I joyfully tearfully left her.

I feel a bit lonely without the old gal now.

Not to worry, though.  I am sure that I will be sent home with another Old Orange not too far in the future.  I optimistically said to The Mister, "I hope I'll only have to do this two more times during my pregnancy."  Misunderstanding, he replied, "You'll have to do it two more times!  No way!"  He didn't realize that the two more times was the best I could possibly hope for.

Maybe the next time I do one, I'll go ahead and put that montage together for you all.  Because that's how committed I am to my readers.  And my jug of urine.

Comments

  1. I've been pregnant three times, the last one with twins, and I have never had to do a 24 hr urine collection! What are they testing for?

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  2. Did it one time with my daughter (we happened to be living with my parents at the time while our house was in major renovation, grossed my dad out a bunch!!). Once was enough.

    Bless your heart!!!!

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  3. @ Sarah G: they do it to test for protein in your urine, has to do with hypertension and/or pre-eclampsia.

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  4. I hope you'll forgive me for finding a bit of humor in this. It's just the way you describe it that makes me laugh. I'm certainly not laughing at the situation, though I'm glad the doctors are keeping a close watch!

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  5. Wait. How did I miss this? You're pregnant? CONGRATULATIONS!!!

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  6. Wow, I can honestly say I have never had the joy of doing such a fun test! Your opening paragraph made me laugh so hard.

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