I've had a few difficult days recently. I think I've spent a lot of time since the miscarriage keeping myself very busy - Christmas, adoption, overall catch up - and now that I have a moment to think, well, it seems like I've noticed a lot of sadness that I haven't dealt with yet. In one way I'm relieved because I need to deal with it, but in another way, it's just...sad.
So I decided to take a moment to notice some of the ways I've been blessed lately.
I've been preparing the nursery this past week or so. The agency suggests that if you feel the need to nest you should do it now as it helps lessen the potential pain of a fall through if you decorate for a specific child. I feel the need to nest so that's what I've been doing. The blessings are many, but the one that overwhelmed me the other day was just how incredibly generous our friends have been to us. We didn't keep much after The Nugget grew out of babyhood, largely because we didn't plan on more kids initially due to difficult pregnancies. Even so, my as yet unborn child has an entire dresser full of clothing to last through age one. And our current daughter will be clothed until the end of time with all of the unbelievable hand me downs. Feeling all of the love and generosity that our friends have put into those gifts is amazing. For those of you who read this: thank you.
I went to the grocery today. Walking around, I passed an older woman several times before she stopped me. "I've got cat food and you've got dog food!" She laughed. My introverted self laughed with her but kept moving. The nest aisle over it was clear that she was determined to talk. After a short chat she pulled out a coupon for the dog food I was buying and then gave it to me. It was a small thing, but sometimes those are just the things we need to restore our faith in humanity and lift our spirits.
We are heading to visit family for the weekend soon. It feels good to go and I think it will be healing to just spend time with people we love.
Love. I am surrounded by it. I love and am loved, in big and small ways every day. For this and so much more, I am so very, very grateful