The waiting is the hardest part. *sigh* I wish I could say that I wasn't agonizing every day over where my next child is, but that would be a lie. Most days I can repress it pretty well, push it down below the joy of this time in which I am home with my family so much that I can't even believe my good fortune. Cleaning, cooking meals, trips to the pool and the library and the zoo and the museum - these all feel so free and easy when I don't have to balance them with full time work. Part time work, which is what I've been doing, feels like such a breeze. There are days, though, when I am driven to my knees with the desire to hold my baby. Times when I can do nothing but watch the gap between children growing wider while knowing there is nothing I can do to stop it. Moments when The Mister and I both look at each other and ask ourselves, "What's wrong with us? Why doesn't someone choose us ?" Of course the adoption agency was honest with us