Welcome to my less than perfect life!

Embracing the imperfections that make my life practically perfect in every way.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

The Runaway Mommy

Once there was a mommy who wanted to have a comfortable night's sleep.  So she trained her child to sleep in her own bed - from birth - and went to sleep in her own big, comfy bed.
"If you go to sleep in your own bed," said her daughter, "I will climb in with you in the middle of the night, for you are my warm, snuggly mother."

"If you climb in with me," said the mother, "I push you toward the center of the bed so we will both have room to sleep."
"If you push me toward the center, I will become a yo-yo and bounce immediately back to crowd you to the edge of the bed," said the child.

"If you become a yo-yo," said the mother, "I will push and shove until I have at least a few inches clearance on the side of the bed."
"If you push and shove, I will employ the cat and the dog to come entangle themselves with us and bind your feet so that you cannot move any further," said the child.

"If you employ the pets," said the mother, "I will carry you back to your own bed and return to my own after you are snuggled in."
"If you return to your own bed," said the daughter, "I will become a boomerang and fly back to your side and cause you to twist your back into a pretzel shape to accommodate me."

"If you become a boomerang," said the mother, "I will slip off the side of the bed and go to the couch and sleep alone."
"If you go to the couch and sleep alone," said the daughter, " I will wake up and follow you an hour later and curl up by your feet on the couch."

"If you follow me to the couch," said the mother, "I will carry you back up to bed and I will give up sleep and decide to get up early and read in the quiet."
"If you decide to get up early and read in the silence," said the daughter, "then I will wake up and demand breakfast and a cartoon and a story and all of the attention in the world."

"Shuck," said the mommy, "I might as well just stay in bed twisted into an uncomfortable pretzel shape and try not to rock the boat.
And so she did.

4 comments:

  1. I didn't sleep well until child was 10. :(

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  2. Susie, that doesn't give me much hope! Our next infant isn't even with us yet!

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  3. I loved this. It's totally a children's book waiting to happen.

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  4. I confess to modeling it after, "The Runaway Bunny", just flipped on its head;)

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