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Showing posts from December, 2011

Down The Rabbit Hole

I've been wanting to post for days (weeks?).  I haven't been here.  I haven't been reading or writing or commenting.  I've just been numbing out.  I've gone down the rabbit hole and I am just starting to try and poke my head back out and scrabble forth.  Trying really hard.

I suffer from depression.  It's a concept that's hard to explain to people.  It's a concept that's hard to grasp myself.  Well all know what it is to be sad about something but we move on.  My depression is like I'm sad about nothing, or everything, and can't move on.  Or not sad.  Apathetic.  Unfocused.  Hazy.  It is compounded by life circumstances - loss, grief - but it was there before life threw in what it had to offer.  Most days, I take a tiny pill and life seems liveable.  In fact, as an adult I realized that I had really become an optimist and not the negative and angry woman of my youth.  I count my blessings, I enjoy each day.  I bask in the normalcy and joy of…